Men insecurities lead to fear of failure

Posted: March 2, 2011 in Uncategorized

Most men are driven by an unspoken, and often unacknowledged, sense of inadequacy. Shautni Feldhahn carefully researched the secret inner lives of men in her book, For Women Only. She found that two out of every three men surveyed admitted to struggling with the tough stuff of inadequacy. What’s more, they fear that their inadequacy will be exposed and their true identity will be revealed. Posing as a confident husband. Posing as a competent father. Posing as a capable worker. Posing as a good Christian. Despite their “in-control” exterior, men often feel like imposters and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.”This secret male vulnerability involves not just a concern about what others think of them, but also the internal realization that since they don’t always know what they are doing, they are just one mess-up away from being found out.”1

The cure cannot be found in self-help seminars or in late-night infomercials. Getting through the tough stuff of inadequacy  takes more than dogged determination; it requires a fundamental shift in perspective. That only comes when we place our confidence in the Lord rather than ourselves. When a man is fully submitted to God, feelings of inadequacy and vulnerability lead to the true source of strength. In spite of a man’s desire to the contrary, he is incapable of glorifying God and doing His work by his own strength. “Inadequacy forces us to rely fully on God for power and strength.”2   God’s perspective regarding men’s adequacy is radically different than humanity’s perspective. To Him, men are valued, important, and unique.

1. Shaunti Feldhahn, For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men (Sisters, Oreg.:Multnomah, 2004),55. 

2. Charles R. Swindoll, Getting Through the Tough Stuff : It’s always Something! (Nashville: W Publishing group, 2004), 176.


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