Posts Tagged ‘religion’

Talk about something that goes against our natural human tendencies. . .


We’ll get to that in a bit.

Today Ronnie talks to us about “success sickness,” he reads it as being this “Success sickness is a disease of wanting more, but never being happy when you get it.”

In 2 Peter 1: 6-7, Peter says, “For by these he has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.”

The power to grow doesn’t come from within us, rather it comes from God. We in and of ourselves don’t have the power to grow. What God does though is allow us—the believer, to become partakers of His divine nature “in order to keep us from sin and He helps us live for Him this way.”

Faith, however, must be more than us believing. Our faith has to be met with the display of our actions. Hence we manifest our Christian growth in character of our moral disciplines. If we don’t practice this, it will die away.

The list that Peter gives is a reflection of our faith in action:

  • Learning to know God better
  • developing perseverance
  • doing God’s will
  • loving others

These actions don’t come to us naturally, they require hard work on our part.  Hard they may be, but it doesn’t negate the fact that they are not OPTIONAL.  They must all be a continual part of our Christian walk.  We don’t finish one of these and then start on another one.  No.  Instead we work on them ALL TOGETHER.
God empowers and enables us, yet He makes the responsibility of the DOING . . . learning . . . growing . . .ours.
We should not be surprised at our resentfulness at times of this process.  It goes against our natural inclinations

Much has been said about the “men problem.”  You can hear about it on Oprah.  You can read about it in Time, you can watch the destruction it creates with Dr. Phil.

School teachers can barely educate on the heels of it. Social services are overwhelmed because of it. Employers are stumped by it. Law enforcement feels the brunt of it. Many jails and prisons are full because of it. Politicians don’t know what to do with it. Candidates avoid it. Authors and academics have assembled alarming statistics to prove it. Health care professionals publish convincing reports to document the human cost of it. Cable shows rant at it. Talk radio personalities have all the answers for it. Movies glamorize it.

Television commercials mock it. The “men problem.” Divorce courts are at capacity because of it. Families are ripped apart by it. Wives soak their pillows with tears as a result of it. Children grow up in poverty as a consequence of it. Teenagers experiment with drugs and sex to cope with it. A lot of money gets spent to treat the symptoms of it. We open teenage pregnancy centers, establish substance abuse centers, increase budgets for social services, build homes for battered women, authorize more jail space, put extra beds in our homeless shelters, increase the number of law enforcement officers, and fit our schools with metal detectors to deal with it. Everyone is concerned about it. Many address the consequences of it. Yet very few people are doing anything that will change the root of it.  “It” is among the most pervasive social, economic, political, and spiritual problems of all time. Men have become one of our largest neglected people groups. As a result, they are prone to get caught up in the rat race, lead unexamined lives, and become cultural (rather than biblical) Christians.

~ Excerpt from the book, Pastoring men

Today we will focus our attention once again on ‘Getting back to the basics.’

My desire here at, Who me be a leader, is for we men, to be all that we can be in Jesus Christ. The only way we can begin doing this is by building ourselves up in the Word of God aka the Bible.

I invite you to watch the video below as I talk once again about getting back to the basics.

Before leaving, I’d like to remind you that “Honor begins at home” men, and remember:

  1. be on alert against spiritual dangers
  2. stand firm in the faith
  3. behave courageously
  4. be strong
  5. do everything with love
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And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” ~ Heb. 11:6

Have you ever thought about “having faith in the midst of your depression?”  That’s what I’m sharing in this video.

While  meditating on this video I started thinking about God walking us through vs. removing us from a situation.

When going through trials be it depression or otherwise, our faith has to kick in and become real for us.  Because sometimes when we examine our circumstances through the natural eye, it is hard to understand why a good and loving God would choose to allow us,someone who He has made in His likeness, and proclaims His love for would allow us to go through horrific experiences.

Then I remember . . .

God is love.  And because God is love, all that He gives comes through His hands of love.

What does that mean?

Essentially it means that a good and loving God, finds good in letting us go low during certain seasons of our lives, if that is what will bring us closer to Him.

Remember the Garden?  I would say Jesus was pretty, scared and depressed—He was pretty low in posture and spirit, yet God didn’t “take Him out of the garden.”  Instead God gave Him what He needed to go through—strength.  For a moment, I want you to think about all of the good and the love that came from God’s hands because He allowed Jesus to suffer?  Ah.  Isn’t that amazing.  Now that’s love.

What about when Jesus told Simon, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat: but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

Satan wanted to crush Simon (and the other disciples like grains of wheat).

What were Jesus’ words to His disciple?  Jesus assured Peter that though his faith would falter, it wouldn’t be destroyed.

Our faith will falter in many ways and many times.  We will become depressed by various situations that arise in our lives.  We will rise and we will fall, and our only comfort will be in knowing that the comforter is with is guiding us, carrying us through— walking beside us as we travel down our perilous road.  He may never remove the source that we feel is our pain but we will never be alone.

Those times are our wilderness moments.  It was because God loved the children of Israel that He took them through the wilderness.  Remember God didn’t want His beloved people being afraid if they took the shorter route because they would have seen war?

If you are a child of God’s you can be sure that He is working in your life and He is working things out.  Sometimes the pain that we experience is for a good reason, though it doesn’t feel good.

Please grab hold of learning to embrace your life and its situational truths.  Learn to embrace your reality friend because in acceptance lies peace.  And once we have peace we can begin to have a clear mind, and a clear mind can start us to look at our situation differently and better, giving light to things that just seemed bleak and dim a day or so ago.

Once you’ve taken hold of the truth begin to move forward, even if you must move at a snails pace—keep moving.

Once again, here are the symptoms that I gave  in the video:

1.  aggressiveness

2.  irritability

3.  blaming others

4.  falling into a comfortable sin

5.  sadness {we don’t want to accept reality}

6.  emptiness

Thanks for stopping by and we’ll see you next time!

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Much has been made about ‘men problems.’  You can hear about it on Oprah, you can read about it in Time.  Everyone is concerned about it.  Many address the consequence of it, yet very few people are doing anything that will change the root of it.’

No man fails on purpose, yet our society is wrought with the results.  And our well intentioned solutions often don’t deal with the root issue.

Stress and depression can ruin your holiday’s as well as your health.  As young boys we’re sometimes given the subliminal message that we shouldn’t share our feelings—we need to be strong, and strong boys don’t cry.

Sadly we carry this belief around for years, suppressing our true feelings, until one day it all becomes too much and we find ourselves sinking emotionally low.

In today’s video and the ones that will follow, Ronnie talks about depression. Before he goes in depth with it, he thought it would be fitting to first address depression as it pertains to the holiday season with us being in the midst of the festivities.

Sadness is truly a personal and individualized emotion.  What makes you sad doesn’t necessarily make me sad and vice-versa.  From my understanding, the typical sources of holiday sadness include : stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, financial stress, and the inability to be with family and friends.

Couple all of the above with the demands of shopping, parties, obligation and house guest, and one begins to understand why some become overwhelmed and experience the increase tension of stress.

For those of you who might not view yourselves as “depressed” your stress responders may be:

  • headaches
  • excessive drinking
  • over-eating
  • and difficulty sleeping

Before I go any further, I’d like to say, “Men it’s okay to share your feelings,” whatever they may be.


Men and depression


Here are some practical tips to ward off some things that may be causing you stress:

  • Acknowledge your feelings
  • Be realistic
  • Set aside differences
  • Stick to a budget
  • Plan ahead
  • Learn to say no
  • Don’t abandon healthy habits
  • Be sure to take breaks
  • And if need be, seek professional help

Please remember during the hustle and bustle that comes with this season that if you’re one prone to depression to be realistic in your planning, and to seek or have your support system in place before they are actually needed.

Free excerpt from the book Pastoring Men

Pick up your copy or give a copy of Pastoring Men as a gift

Sadly too often I see this very thing occurring, as I go about talking—counseling men.

What is the thing that I’ve witness?

Men not listening to or giving credence to the words of their wives.  

Read the words of Chuck Swindoll:

Read Job 2:10

I’m impressed that Job listened to the words of his wife. He pondered them, he considered them, he turned them over in his mind. He neither misunderstood nor ignored her. He heard what she said, and he didn’t interrupt her as she said it. That places Job in a unique category among husbands, quite frankly.

Men, I’ve found that most of us are not hard of hearing; we’re hard of listening. Our wives frequently have the most important things to say that we will hear that day, but for some strange reason, we have formed the habit of mentally turning off their counsel.

Let me add here, when you do respond, always tell her the truth. If what she says is wise and squares with what you know to be truth—if it is helpful—then say so. And thank her. If it is not, say that. Job disagreed and said so. His response after hearing her was, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks.”

Job detected in his wife a snag of bitterness, some disillusionment; so he said to her, in effect, “This is advice I cannot and will not act on. It isn’t wise. It’s wrong counsel, and I can’t accept it.”

In the four decades I’ve been dealing with folks who are married, I find one of the most difficult things to get couples to do is say the truth to each other. Admit when we’ve done wrong rather than skirt it or rationalize around it or excuse it—just say, “I was wrong.” Or if we hear our mates say something we know is not wise, or we detect a questionable motive, we tend not to say the hard thing. How much better to respond, “You know, honey, I realize you’ve got my good at heart, but I honestly have to say that I don’t agree with it. I think it is unwise for you to suggest that.” In the long haul, your marriage will be healthier if you will allow truth to prevail, especially if it’s truth spoken in love. Listen well, and always speak the truth wrapped in loving care.

Now let me sum up my opinion in a nutshell on this issue:

Men, “The further you beat her down, the further you have to go to get her.”

Ask yourself: (1) what category do I fall in?  And then make the necessary adjustments.

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Excerpted from Charles R. Swindoll, Great Days with the Great Lives (Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2005). Copyright © 2005 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved.


As men it’s easy to get bogged down by the cares of the world and needs of those who depend on us.  “It’s easy to become discouraged.” It is during this time that we are susceptible in giving in to our feelings and we begin to think that “God has abandon us and we feel: forgotten.”

If these are your thoughts men, I’d like to encourage you by first reminding you that our God is a just God.  He never deals with His children unjustly.

God never forgets us or overlooks our hard work and obedience for Him, regardless of how we feel.  Right now you may be at a season in your life where you are not getting any rewards or accolades for what you are doing in the Market place or at  home.  Faint not.

God knows your efforts of love  toward Him, others and ministry.  Let God’s love for you and the intimate knowledge of your service for Him bolster you as you face disappointment, discouragement and rejection here on earth.  Most of all men remember that your God has not forgotten you.